I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
