i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I forget how to act sober
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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