it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
