Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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