i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
