Non-Jews are for practice
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
