Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
