my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The air was thick with penises
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
