Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
