Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
