I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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