mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
