omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
