I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
