Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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