Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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