also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
