Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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