she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
