I never want to see another naked old woman again.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
