Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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