There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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