Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
