Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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