Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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