we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i think i have two assholes
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She needs sedatives and a leash
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
