they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
