All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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