I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
