It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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