So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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