New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
