The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
