Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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