Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
