On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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