Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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