she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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