dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
