Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
