At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
