Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
