He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
