can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
