ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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