I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
