I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
