I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
