dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
