If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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