I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
